We all get triggered. One minute, life feels steady, and the next—boom—we’re completely thrown off by an emotion we didn’t expect. Triggers can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to control us. In my latest podcast episode, I sat down with Sherry D’Elia to talk about how we can work through triggers instead of getting stuck in them. And it all starts with five simple but powerful questions.
Why We Get Triggered
As Sherry explained, triggers pull us out of our resiliency zone. Something happens—a comment, a situation, a memory—and suddenly, we’re in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode before we even realize it. Our reactions often feel automatic, but they’re usually tied to something much deeper.
I shared a personal story about how, for five years, I struggled to check my personal email. Just thinking about opening it would send a wave of anxiety through my body—all the way down to my sacral root. That reaction didn’t come from nowhere. It was my nervous system remembering past stress and warning me to stay away, even though the present situation was safe.
So, how do we break free from these patterns? That’s where the five questions come in.
The 5 Questions to Work Through a Trigger
When you feel triggered, grab a journal and ask yourself these five questions:
1️⃣ What are my thoughts?
Write them all down, unfiltered. Let your mind run and capture whatever comes up.
2️⃣ What are my feelings?
Are you angry? Anxious? Hurt? Notice where you feel it in your body.
3️⃣ How is this familiar?
When have you felt like this before? Often, our triggers are connected to past experiences—especially from childhood.
4️⃣ How did I adapt back then?
Did you shut down? People-please? Get defensive? The way we coped as kids often carries into adulthood.
5️⃣ What can I do differently now?
This is where the real power is. Instead of repeating old patterns, choose a new response. Even small changes lead to big shifts over time.
Healing is a Process
As Sherry put it:
"A lot of times, we're doing things and we're not even realizing—oh, I could change this."
And that’s the key. Awareness is the first step to healing.
This conversation also took us deep into inner child work and how our nervous system holds onto old wounds. We even explored some of Sherry’s favorite healing techniques, like holographic memory resolution, which helps reprocess painful memories in a way that allows us to move forward.
Take Your Healing Deeper
If this episode resonated with you, I highly recommend checking out Sherry’s self-paced course—a powerful guide to healing with grounding and trauma-informed techniques. You can find all the details here: holisticpsychotherapyct.com.
Triggers don’t have to define us. When we engage from a place of voice and choice, we reclaim our power.
Let me know in the comments—which of these five questions resonated with you the most? I’d love to hear how you’re working through your own triggers.
Until next time, stay curious and keep healing.
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