9 Comments
User's avatar
Jeremiah Fulmer's avatar

I got pretty excited when Mel started explaining the neuroscience behind what happens for us when we are activated and talking about the difference in functions between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. I thought she was going to take the book into a trauma lens kind of view, but she never quite got there. Thank you for bringing this topic up and I love the way you frame the fact that for trauma survivors this theory can make sense on an intellectual level but can definitely be difficult, (almost impossible without working on healing) to connect with within the body.

Expand full comment
Stacey Uhrig's avatar

I truly appreciate your commentary on this. I was definitely seeking this out...as a trauma trained professional I can't help but see it through this lens....

Expand full comment
Bmac's avatar

This is definitely an insight with people w/complex and developmental PTSD, thank you

Expand full comment
Aidan's avatar

I’m so glad I read this Episode 125. I understand a lot more about how my traumas have affected me as an adult. The first week of “letting them” went well but I feel like I’m back in “fight, protect survive mode.” I feel like I’m failing the “let them” mindset which makes me feel even worse. Anyway, thanks for addressing how trauma needs extensive healing before I can “Let Them”

Expand full comment
Stacey Uhrig's avatar

Aidan - thank you for this. I'm so happy to hear it resonated with you. You aren't failing the mindset. This is why I wrote this. Because ultimately it truly isn't a mindset shift but rather a nervous system shift. We get to become curious as to WHY "letting them" throws us into fight or flight (sympathetic nervous system state) and then we can dive into HOW AND WHEN did "controlling outcomes" become a method of "survival". There is work to be done! I'm here for it.

Expand full comment
Notes of Hope by Linnea Baker's avatar

As a Trauma Informed coach and counselor and survivor of c-ptsd, I absolutely agree with your respectful takeaways on the book.

Expand full comment
Stacey Uhrig's avatar

Thank you for sharing this Linnea! I truly appreciate it.

Expand full comment
Debra Demme's avatar

You nailed this Stacey! When I first read the “Let Them” book, I had such anxiety thinking “easy for you to say!” You must get to the root cause before you are ready to let them!

Expand full comment
Stacey Uhrig's avatar

Thank you for sharing … I'm glad it resonated!

Expand full comment